Aim high. Ride easy. Trust the Universe.

  • Home
    Home This is where you can find all the blog posts throughout the site.
  • Categories
    Categories Displays a list of categories from this blog.
  • Tags
    Tags Displays a list of tags that have been used in the blog.
  • Bloggers
    Bloggers Search for your favorite blogger from this site.
  • Team Blogs
    Team Blogs Find your favorite team blogs here.
  • Login
    Login Login form

... but I know that being happy is choice. I know, it's bloody annoying and one of those things some bumper sticker would instantly put me in a bad mood by displaying but, in my opinion, it's true!

I've said before but when I was younger I remember not being consciously happy but rather consciously, painstakingly, melancoly. After many years, and way too many Sarah Mclachlan songs I came around to understanding that being happy was a daily practice and one that was worth practising.

So instead of this beautiful melancoly song I choose this uplifting song - both equally moving but, for me, I'll choose happiness every day and twice on Sundays!

Happy daze one and all.

 

Continue reading
in Thoughts 1476

For years I felt that I was on the outside looking in. Everyone around me seemed to just get on with life and yet I agonised over every day; sure there were moments when I was just a kid and life went on around me whilst I laughed and played and enjoyed my adventurous life - but nothing was ever random to me.


I’m into my fourth decade now and still the conversations go on only they are different now; there’s a sense of wonderment about life and everything I’m so blessed to have seen / experienced and garnered so far. A while ago I decided to just stop tolerating bullshit, my own and others. Plastering a smile onto a shit situation helps no-one and perpetuates the feeling that we’ve all got to keep pretending that living and learning is easy when it isn’t.


In doing that, in being honest - with myself mainly - I feel like I’m lighting my own way, making a difference, building a bridge, living the truths that are revealed to me and perhaps that will help others do the same. I’ve always seen the world differently and now I’m grateful for that.

 

Remember the fire's always within.

Continue reading
in Thoughts 1615

There is this glorious song by Birdy and every time I hear it the words catch in my throat, I end up slowing down to look around and tonight was no exception.

I was driving home and, pulling up to a traffic light there, in the middle of the road, was a woman curled up into herself - dejected and crying tears of utter desperation and loneliness. As I rolled slowly up to the lights all I could feel was the immense sadness of those tears; I think we’ve all cried them for different reasons. The tears that pull us to the ground and engulf everything around us - like a black hole of nothingness sucking us into it for the belief that there was just nowhere else to go.

There was this woman and, with no idea of her background, situation or the circumstances that led her to that spot, I felt ‘there but for the grace of God go I’. Her small face and dark sad eyes looked up towards me and I was completely lost. I don’t know what happens to us really - I know stuff I’ve learned and read but what really draws us apart? What really makes my journey this evening so remarkably easy and what makes hers so desperately difficult.

Birdy’s song is so idealistic it’s brilliant - people should help the people and nothing will drag you down? Right? Did I help this evening, sure but in my way, I’ve no idea if that helped her or me. On I rolled and there she stayed.

"Oh and if I had a brain … I’d be cold as a stone and rich as a fool that turned all those good hearts away"

Continue reading
in Thoughts 2763

About a week ago I had finished at a client and I called him to say I was heading back to the office; he answered the call in a fairly customary 'Hiya' and I was immediately shot back in time.

There was my life, and it seemed like just yesterday for the vividness of my memories, and that life consisted of the voice at the end of the phone being of Jekyyl the well known alter ego to our Hyde. The moment he was left alone - or rather I wasn't around - his mind would immediately be pulled to his dealer and we'd lose him either to a craving or the giving in to that craving - either way the results were exactly the same - he was gone and in his place would reside a panicky, devious, gibbering, paranoid shadow of himself.

And last week I was reminded of those days - the panic I would feel when I knew I had to leave the house - I remember so clearly planning my day and days, weighing up the benefit of running all meetings in one day even if that day meant it would run from dawn 'till dusk because at least, then, the fall out would be just one day. But it was never just one day because a bender would start days before and end weeks later. It was cyclical. It was debilitating. It was all consuming. And it was my life for so long. I never thought we'd see the light of day.

Not so long ago he asked me if I ever thought he'd be rid of the drugs, the cravings, the alter egos and, in taking my time to respond, I said No. I had to admit I'd not allowed myself that optimism. It had permeated our lives - and the lives of many other people - for so long that I don't think I hoped that it could ever be different.

Life is different now - he white-knuckled his way through it working endlessly and tirelessly to rid his life of almost all of his triggers and I know the effort it took / takes; always looking to be more, say more, love more but you see the truth is an addict is always an addict; whilst the cocaine was replaced by coffee, cigarettes, sky-diving, running, mountain-biking and now booze it’s all different sides of the same coin.

It took me a long time to understand that addiction isn’t weighing up your options to make better choices it’s just an action and a reaction - the thing is that there are always choices then consequences and people being caught in the middle.

Continue reading
in Thoughts 1372

..when I can take time to just be. I like being up early (when I wake naturally that is) because I can unfold my day with a semblance of quiet, I can slowly perform the rituals of breakfast feeding of my 4-legged companions whilst my 2-legged one still sleeps.

It's in the quiet and the calm that I'm reminded time and again that it's the little things that make a rich life and here's to a rich life.

 

Continue reading
in Thoughts 832