Aim high. Ride easy. Trust the Universe.

  • Home
    Home This is where you can find all the blog posts throughout the site.
  • Categories
    Categories Displays a list of categories from this blog.
  • Tags
    Tags Displays a list of tags that have been used in the blog.
  • Bloggers
    Bloggers Search for your favorite blogger from this site.
  • Team Blogs
    Team Blogs Find your favorite team blogs here.
  • Login
    Login Login form


The truth is that part of me was resisting doing what I knew had to be done. You have to be the change you want to see and I’m finally seeing that in one of the key areas of my life.

You see I fought against him for months in fact it was really the only thing that we argued over - me blaming his excessive drinking on my anxiety but frankly I wasn’t prepared to put my money where my mouth was. I was expecting him to be the change but it had to be me, it always does.

I made a commitment to myself that I would give up drinking from the beginning of January until my sisters wedding towards the end of February and that is what I’ve done - am doing - and it feels utterly liberating. Utterly liberating - it has to be said twice it’s that powerful.

Even as I’m writing this there is a smile that has formed on my face and a depth of emotion deep inside me that feels like I’ve released a flock of white pigeons into their freedom. But it’s me whose been released.

So many times, daily even, I remind myself that the only person I have any control over, and even that control is limited at times, is myself. And yet a thousand more times I shouted words of displeasure about a situation that was really mine to control - as least my involvement in that situation. it seems utterly ludicrous that I paddled around in that quagmire of despair for so long when all it really took was the decision, by me, to change it.

I can hardly believe the simplicity of that decision but I know it’s never that simple - the decision is the hardest part really and I’m experiencing that now. The months I agonised over where I seemed stuck - acting in victimhood of the situation refusing to see that everything is a choice.

I don’t know what kept me stuck but I do know that, now the decision has been made everything has shifted and I’m eternally grateful for that. It reminds me that at times my mind becomes attached to limitation rather than seeing it simply as a distorted version of reality. What wonderful innovations could I create if I surrendered my preconceptions?

If we remain committed to letting every thought, word and action come from their perspective I know that everything unfolds as it should.

Continue reading
in Thoughts 2713

And just like that it’s another year; the planning, shopping and mania giving way to the calmness, excitement and the peaceful energy of the festive season all of which is now being drowned out by retail sales, building work pressures, resolutions, goals and a general surge in the direction of the new year.

Don’t get me wrong I’m one of those pushing into the New Year but this year I’m trying to do it on my terms.

Every year seems to be a watershed year - some basked in only good memories others smothered in anxiety and stress. 2014 had, for me, some desperate lows (losing people who are marvellously loved is going to leave a blip on anyone’s radar) but ultimately it’s coming out in the wash as a great year.

Perhaps as we get older we learn the innate task of remembering only the things that please us and plastering over those that don’t (and no, Jo, this isn’t a spongey moment for me … there’s plenty of time for that!). I just can’t see the point in holding on to things that don’t serve us - negative thoughts, unkind people, bad experiences, lost ideas, misplaced words, unfilled ideas or general dissatisfaction.

My sister donned a phrase when we were younger (when the quantity of friends was may more important than the quality) and that was a ‘friendship audit’. It sounds mercenary (and coming from a lawyer perhaps could have been deemed as such) but really the aim was simply to learn to choose, keep, and be the type of friend who pushes you to be the best version of you, always. 

In some goal-setting and planning for 2015 I’ve come to realise that there’s not a single soul in my life whose not an absolute God-send and, for a moment it seemed quite startling to me - who knew i could have become that good at auditing!! In actual fact it’s nothing as well-planned as that it’s simply just being conscious, deciding - finally, who I wanted to be and being that. The rest just seems to fall into place.

So beautifully put ‘ the future belongs to whose who believe in the beauty of their dreams’ (Eleanore Roosevelt) so here’s to dreaming.

Continue reading
in Thoughts 1900


Cliched as it may be but this rainy Jozi afternoon has got me thinking about another watershed year. 2014 has been, for me, about getting real with myself and those I choose to have in my life. I passed the 40 mark last year and with it I shed the need to please … which is hard for a people pleaser like me! But in shedding something I'm faced with the ‘ what now’ and ‘is this it’. If you leave something behind then doesn’t the ‘what am I without my story’ resonate?


We all play many roles in our life and mine include, amongst others, friend, girlfriend, daughter, sister, student, teacher, helper, listener, learner, provider but I think our true role has to be pioneer into the unknown. We need to lift the veil for each other, be courageous and heroic, push out our own boundaries. I’ve said this before, so this is a reminder to me, that we need to give beyond reason, to care beyond hope, to love without limit, to reach, stretch and dream - in spite of our fears.


I’m tremendously conscious that as I clock up the years it’s all too easy to get comfortable and I’m not going there, into a comfort zone that is. So I’m surrounding myself with people who will remind me that we need to push ourselves, be more, give more, to illuminate the darkened paths, lift broken spirits and change the course of our history. So, together, let’s do that?


I read somewhere that 'A joyful life isn’t about others; it’s about the brightness that is associated with being alive. Your path to it is through anything that replaces thinking with pure flight, pure joy.’ As 2015 rolls around I wish you, and me, the clarity that comes with knowing we can choose our path and in that choosing life becomes the meaning and measurement that we’ve craved all along. Life is good. I wish you that, and more. Onwards friends.

Continue reading
in Thoughts 1735

I think it will always be like this. 

As I sit quietly at home this morning - in the wake of his rage and drama I just feel quiet and tired and simply exhausted by it all. I am grateful he’s broken another promise - I need a break from the mumbling harsh words under his breath juxtaposed with the accusations and threats - I am pleased for the quiet. 

I get stuck in my home and in my head. You see I think I'm easy on him now - I take the path of least resistance and we mostly just live separate, like college room mates who - at times - sit over individually prepared suppers and idly comment on the tv.

How do you know when it’s enough?

I don’t know if it’s another broken promise or sheer exhaustion on my part but something has clicked this morning - as I write these words I don’t think I even trust myself anymore which is the saddest part for me. I’ve begged, pleaded, prayed and promised and that’s just with myself. There have been so many times that I’ve talked myself off this ledge promising him just one more chance but what about me? When do I get a look in here?

Last night I dreamt that I received a call - this guy was on the end of the phone asking me if I understood what he was saying correctly because he’d been accused of not being clear before - he asked if I could hear / see a helicopter in which was someone who was going to come and take care of my life. He kept asking me these three questions:

Do you know who you are?
Do you know what's happened to you?
Do you want to live this way?

I hung up - perplexed of course. The very next minute I heard then saw this chopper, in no time it had landed - right outside my sitting room door in my tiny garden. I was immediately nervous - I forced myself awake long before my alarm fearing that this meant something was wrong. But the longer I am awake the more this all made sense to me.

Do you know who you are?
Do you know what's happened to you?
Do you want to live this way?

Yes I know who I am. Yes I know what’s happened to me and no I don’t want to live this way - not any more.
 
Like a helicopter I can rise above this situation, this relationship. Like my garden I can cultivate new life, new energy.  This is my life

A love for almost 15 years isn’t something easy to question or let go of but I feel like I’m the one whose been holding on so tight, I’m the one whose been fighting here and if I’m truthful to myself I think if I stop the fighting he’ll just let us go.

This morning the first email I receive has the heading ‘Today is the best day of your life’ and I thought why not. Let’s see where this takes us.

Continue reading
in Thoughts 5441

Our housekeeper is a good news story in a bad news tale - so far that is - but getting here hasn’t been an easy journey. She noticed a lump in her neck and took herself off to the clinic - after hours of sitting and being ignored she was seen by someone who said she needed to be admitted.

I received a panicked call from my hysterical housekeeper who, having been pushed around from pillar to post prior to being diagnosed with HIV, she had spent weeks in Baragwaneth and memories of that experience linger just under the service. I suggested she come to me and we visited my local doctor for their opinion.

This has led us to spending, over the next couple of months, endless hours at the Helen Joseph trying to make our way through the chaotic and seemingly broken system. The system is so clearly represented in the misery of the buildings, a place that meant to be healing or at the very least helping people. The Helen Joseph is, I believe, one of the better government healthcare facilities which is shocking to the nth degree.

Determined that Lindiwe not fall through the cracks of this broken system I’ve held her hand and asked the questions that, out of fear and perhaps a degree of unsophistication, needed to be asked. In the hours we spent at the hospital I looked around at the seemingly hopelessness of it. There are literally hundreds of people lost in those corridors some so sick they can barely raise a voice to ask a question that may just get them seen.

But through it all and just when I wanted to tear my hear out we would always find someone to help us take the next step up. Once you finally get in front of a person who isn’t just there to push papers you get the help that is so desperately needed and I was buoyed by the belief that they do actually care. There are just too few trying to help just too many.

But if you ask the right questions, if you put in the time, if you refuse to be pushed on without getting the right help then the help is there - it’s not hopeless and there are good news stories, so far my beloved Lindiwe is one of them.

Continue reading
in Thoughts 1829