Aim high. Ride easy. Trust the Universe.

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The smell swept through my house and into my room, I was avoiding the day with a cup of tea and a cuddling cat ... The smell pulled me out of my funk and into the gratitude that is my life.

I am all too often wracked with the hamlet questions. Am I on the right path? Should I be doing more? Knowing more? Achieving more. The enormous questions that my conscious mind refuses to let up on but it's that voice, that constant evaluation that keeps me moving, keeps me pushing for more. The question I'm currently tripping up on again and again is 'what exactly has my life proved so far'? Where is the legacy? What am I leaving in my wake? How am I improving this world and when I'm gone what will I be remembered for?

I don't know and this morning I was wandering around in those thoughts until the grass came calling.

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in Thoughts 2527

This morning I woke, like most other mornings, blissfully drifting into my day. My world, both the inner and outer one, is for an instant a blank canvas—an emptiness of infinite potential. I remember, but often don’t, that the unshaped world will take shape according to my state of being, consciousness, awareness. Moving from deep sleep and dreaming to waking, the world is not yet formed, it is waiting for us.

But this morning the world wasn’t waiting to form in some instances and its beyond my comprehension. As I grappled with the thoughts I read something that offered some perspective “ .. the perfection of every issue is beyond human comprehension. We can’t be fooled, there are no mistakes. The territory behind us and the challenges at hand are precisely crafted to deliver us the wisdom and insights that’ll continue us in life.”

I know we didn’t come here to face hurdle after hurdle; it’s not as if that, by mastering our issues today, more will be added tomorrow, that only happens when we deny our issues in the first place. So we master them and move on.

So today let’s get through what we must get through, understand what troubles us, do what we can do today. So little can really yield so much; a new perspective, an admission, a surrender to truth - no matter how painful - changes everything. So, I guess here we go, into the wild.
 

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in Thoughts 2513

... but I know that being happy is choice. I know, it's bloody annoying and one of those things some bumper sticker would instantly put me in a bad mood by displaying but, in my opinion, it's true!

I've said before but when I was younger I remember not being consciously happy but rather consciously, painstakingly, melancoly. After many years, and way too many Sarah Mclachlan songs I came around to understanding that being happy was a daily practice and one that was worth practising.

So instead of this beautiful melancoly song I choose this uplifting song - both equally moving but, for me, I'll choose happiness every day and twice on Sundays!

Happy daze one and all.

 

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in Thoughts 1499

For years I felt that I was on the outside looking in. Everyone around me seemed to just get on with life and yet I agonised over every day; sure there were moments when I was just a kid and life went on around me whilst I laughed and played and enjoyed my adventurous life - but nothing was ever random to me.


I’m into my fourth decade now and still the conversations go on only they are different now; there’s a sense of wonderment about life and everything I’m so blessed to have seen / experienced and garnered so far. A while ago I decided to just stop tolerating bullshit, my own and others. Plastering a smile onto a shit situation helps no-one and perpetuates the feeling that we’ve all got to keep pretending that living and learning is easy when it isn’t.


In doing that, in being honest - with myself mainly - I feel like I’m lighting my own way, making a difference, building a bridge, living the truths that are revealed to me and perhaps that will help others do the same. I’ve always seen the world differently and now I’m grateful for that.

 

Remember the fire's always within.

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in Thoughts 1759

There is this glorious song by Birdy and every time I hear it the words catch in my throat, I end up slowing down to look around and tonight was no exception.

I was driving home and, pulling up to a traffic light there, in the middle of the road, was a woman curled up into herself - dejected and crying tears of utter desperation and loneliness. As I rolled slowly up to the lights all I could feel was the immense sadness of those tears; I think we’ve all cried them for different reasons. The tears that pull us to the ground and engulf everything around us - like a black hole of nothingness sucking us into it for the belief that there was just nowhere else to go.

There was this woman and, with no idea of her background, situation or the circumstances that led her to that spot, I felt ‘there but for the grace of God go I’. Her small face and dark sad eyes looked up towards me and I was completely lost. I don’t know what happens to us really - I know stuff I’ve learned and read but what really draws us apart? What really makes my journey this evening so remarkably easy and what makes hers so desperately difficult.

Birdy’s song is so idealistic it’s brilliant - people should help the people and nothing will drag you down? Right? Did I help this evening, sure but in my way, I’ve no idea if that helped her or me. On I rolled and there she stayed.

"Oh and if I had a brain … I’d be cold as a stone and rich as a fool that turned all those good hearts away"

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in Thoughts 2782