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A million little pieces

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That's me - at times - the pieces part I mean. I know it was the title of a book that was then tarnished but it's still a good description - does it describe all of us? Do you feel like some mornings you wake up, figure out what day it is and then put yourself back together? Or maybe we're just constantly building ourselves - using what was learned yesterday, making ourselves just that little bit more unique than the day before.

The other day a friend gave me a tip on how to enhance memory in our increasing age and I jumped at it because, what I fear the most about growing old is losing mine. A couple of dear family friends seem to be lurking around in the dementia halls and whilst they seem utterly delighted with life I can't help but remember (good sign) what they were like before - the sharp wit and delightful stories of lives well lived. They still live life well, just differently.

And then I read this article about what you can garner from your 40s and, as I'm wandering around in this territory, the title got my attention. All the points rang true around caring less what other people think, finding your feet and being bold enough to follow those feet but it doesn't mention the pieces. Having traversed three decades and now into my fourth there are things we all care about - memory, love, relationships, life lessons, change, happiness, integrity, making a difference and the list goes on - but what continues to strike me is that we all have a mantle. It doesn't matter how shiny our lives look from the outside when we're alone, the reality isn't the show reel.

Sure we can learn lessons from each other - assuming of course we're willing to learn - but we still have to face our fears. Perhaps your fears and mine are cut from the same cloth but it doesn't make it any less tangible?

For most of us fear plays a roll in our lives, perhaps a considered companion. Mine is, for the most part, quietly contained in the corner of my mind but at times, not . To fear and her follies, this morning I pieced myself together, I knew the day, my purpose and my passions and along you came with your dark eyes and sneering smile and, just like that, tried to dismantle me from what day it is, who I am and what I was doing to begin with.

Then I remind myself - it's about getting up every day and doing what we do, putting ourselves back together and - within our sphere of influence - making today matter. One of my favourite authors said in her latest TED talk that all we need to do, every day, is put your head down and perform with diligence, devotion, respect and reverence whatever the task is that love is calling forth from you next and everything will be okay.

I agree. Everything will be okay.


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