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Love, its always love

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A while ago we lost one of our horses. Not in the careless 'where did she go' loss but in the sense that she went to the big paddock in the sky type of loss.

I felt big, sad, heavy pangs of regret when I found out (because it's all about me of course!) for many reasons not least of which was because my Mum, in all her wisdom, had asked me for months to record her well-being on camera for her US-based owners. But of course the photos weren't forthcoming for varying reasons not least of which was because I didn't make the time. A plethora of excuses fell forward in an endless conversation about forgetting, being too busy and the light not being right.

The fact was that I didn't make the time because I thought she'd be here longer and there would be more time and at the weekend the light would be better and and and. But the weekend didn't come and the light certainly wasn't better. She was there and then she wasn't and I deeply regret not making the time.

For my non-animal friends you might think 'she was 'just a horse' and I get that you think that (she wasn't just a horse of course and we'd loved her back to life - she was important) but she isn't, really, the point I'm trying to make. The point is that we don't have the time, we shouldn't make excuses and we need to be conscious - all the time.

I seem to become reflective at the beginning of a new month because it jars me back into the consciousness that time passes, quickly, and I'm busy all the time so where does that leave time for the people I love. You know it's all very well being busy but, as the saying goes, busy doing what?

I don't know what's important to you and sometimes I forget what's important to me - then life jolts me and I'm thankful for those jolts. It's reminds me not to be an idiot. It reminds me that, in my small sphere of influence, I need to wake up the sleeping people, be the change I want to see and any number of other stolen cliches but mostly I need to be present, take the photo, share the joy and be the love that I am so blessed to feel.

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