Over my birthday weekend I had a few plans

Saturday some of my loves came for lunch – I love cooking but only for people outside of my own otherwise its just food that needs to sustain and I wish we had a house fairy! In the morning I prepped with such glee and thought about what I’d make and listened to music and was so happy. By the time my loves arrived I had nothing left to ‘spend’. I’d been sick for a week and really should have just asked to postpone because everyone would have understood.

I’m not raised like that.

On Sunday, my actual birthday, my family came over and some ‘near’ family and it was a magic day. I can’t remember most of it and last night I replayed it with Pen because I have such anxiety that I behave badly blah blah blah.

One of my loves who came over on my birthday said I was vacant and I think that’s the perfect word. I was ‘showing up’ but the part of Alex was being played by a sick and wished to be sleeping person.

Pen said we should re-do my birthday weekend, it’s cute but I don’t believe in do-overs I believe in listening and learning. My body was SO cross with me that she had to SHOUT at me but I’ve heard you now.

Rest when you’re tired my loves. Sleep isn’t the enemy. I love you. We can hard things.

PS A thousand thanks to my loves for that weekend I really don’t believe in do-overs. I do remember the love – as ever.

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